Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize