so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
