I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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