If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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