An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
