Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize