My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he thought i was a dude.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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