she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
