How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
