I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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