it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
