is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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