Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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