They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
foreskin is a definite game changer
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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