Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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