anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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