Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
