dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
its not stalking. its research.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
