i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
