He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize