So drunk its hurt
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
