8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
