According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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