I bet he comes in French.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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