dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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