Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
