We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
