can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
