Got a toothbrush?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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