Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
