Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
