That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
