You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
