he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
