So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
