The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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