so explain again why im purple
no
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
