Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
