38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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