all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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