I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
