Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
