Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
