Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
