I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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