I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
