When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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