didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
