with your own penis?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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