What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
