She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
