Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
