I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
