At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
