Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
