I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
